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Parenting33: Daniel on Child Abuse and Spoiling

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Okay, are we all doing a good job with our deep breathing?  Good, good.

Daniel Mackler
has a message that (I think) is very important. It’s also a very painful one to hear. If you’re a parent (or a parent wannabe) and you’re willing to listen to what he has to say, you’re more humble and courageous than most, and I thank you.

All of Season Six (16 episodes) is dedicated to Daniel’s views about truth, the true self, trauma, healing and growing up. If you want to learn how this could become a truly healed and happy world, I hope you’ll listen carefully, breathe deeply, and find out what your own inner self has to say about it all.

In Season Six I’m playing  Daniel’s music.  In today’s song he sings:

I see parents having kids and then they break their little hearts,
They crush their perfect lives before they get a chance to start.
But still I know there’s hope because I see it in my sight,
That’s why I’ve come to spread the message
that it’s time to set things right.

When I heard Daniel’s vision for the world, it was the first time – ever – that I had a glimmer that maybe… maybe… there was something good about having hope.   I must admit I’m still awfully wary of the concept – but I’m open to changing my mind.  And if I do, you guys will be among the very first to know.  I’ll keep you posted.

xoAmy

 

3 comments to Parenting33: Daniel on Child Abuse and Spoiling

  • I agree 100% with Daniel but it needs a big group of people supporting his idea to be able to make pressur on mass madia . Alone or a little group of people have no chance..

  • How about let’s not have kids until we’re more healed than our parents. It seems to me that becoming healed is an inter-generational process, and if we’re ever going to make it to the finish line a relay race is going to cover ground a lot more effectively than trying to sprint the entire thing yourself. Especially considering (from the my experience) as you get further along the finish line seems to have a habit of jumping further and further ahead of you.

  • Heiko

    Daniel states that parents absolutely never should have had children, if they are not fully healed and therefore inevitably abuse (as he defines it) their kids. He talks about inherent rights of children that all their needs should have been met by their parents.
    I agree that children should get all their needs met, but I don´t agree with the conclusion that it has absolutely to be avoided. It is my goal with my kids, but the certain knowledge that I will harm my kids because I am not fully healed would not prevent me from having kids and I don´t think it should.

    If anyone is among the top 10 percent of parents (how this is ever measured, but I think the idea is clear), I think it would be virtuous of him to raise kids, even if that means that he is damaging his kids, because it is improving parenting. This is only true, of course, if it is not easily achieved to fully heal, but Daniel states that he would find abuse even in the (conventionally defined) most healthy parenting situation.

    Of course, we should strive for the ideal, but healing is a multi-generational process and parents with a great deal of self knowledge and a lot of healing are the driving force of a better world.

    I would have liked it if Daniel would have differentiated between traumatization of a child and hindering the development of a child. Traumatization damages the self-development capacities of a child, which is a much more heinous crime than some emotional neglect that “only” leaves the child with less than optimal social skills.

    In the absoluteness of his standard I sense (my projection or not?) a hatred of parents who harm their children. While I agree that passion and determination should be applied to parenting, I get the fantasy that Daniel is also hating his own limitation to the point where he is denying himself the joys of being a parent and his kids the joy of being his kids.

    Even if I am right with my fantasy that Daniel is living out his unhealed quarrel with his parents and “abusing” the audience as well as his potential kids with his unrealistically high standard, I nevertheless think that he would be a wonderful father.

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