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Sex&Love22: Being 'Just Friends' After a Breakup


It all started out when I and a few others received a letter from a friend that said some sweet things, including the following:

“For the first time in my life, I want to be friends with someone who has been my partner, and I feel entirely unsure how to do that. In my past, I’ve imagined that it was easier to extinguish a cherished relationship, than to submit to the pains and uncertainty of its metamorphosis. My breakup instincts have been molded by the impulse to stamp out the possibility of any further relationship with an ex.  Accordingly, I find myself an inadequate teacher for the lesson I’m determined to learn.  I’m sending this email to you because I’m looking for mentors and role models so I might teach myself to be a friend to him. He deserves it and so do I.”

He said other wise and wonderful things too, but this gives you the gist. I feel so pleased and proud to have such cool people as this in my life.

Anyway, what happened next was, I recorded this podcast, cuz it just seemed like too good a topic to pass up.  Thanks for the great idea, you smart friend you!

And BTW, if you enjoy the Hezekiah Jones number at the end of the show, and if you live in Philly, you should put the next Clubhouse Concert on your calendar and come join in the fun.  Jus sayin’.


3 comments to Sex&Love22: Being ‘Just Friends’ After a Breakup

  • This particular podcast came at a perfect time for me…must be “the lord” watching out for me eh?
    anyway…I recently was looking at this blog where this divorced couple is co-parenting and their need to really work together for their kids…and of course I was feeling a lot of guilt because I never could have that kind of a relationship and felt like I “should” have been able too…and their blog suggests that ALL couples can do this but I don’t necessarily agree with that statement.
    what I see clearly now a few months later, is that its ok…I am ok…I did what I could and also took care of myself and that included not having anything to do with my first husband.
    I found it difficult to remain friends ( after breaking up) with the men that I had friendships/ relationships with after my first marriage and before my second marriage. I learned a lot from those relationships…however making the relationship into a “friendship” and carrying it into the realm of the newest friendship/ relationship just didn’t work for me personally with the exception of one for sure and …maybe two men. I do think that if I were to bump into any of those men in some social setting I would feel totally comfortable and at ease having a conversation. Life…its all about relationships and how you develop with/from/in them…and its all part of our respecting our own and others paths along the way…

  • amychilds

    I hear ya Gwen, and I’m glad the Lord could give you what you wanted/needed this time around! (Wish he were ALWAYS that accommodating, but I suppose we shouldn’t too greedy…)